Coping with holidays after loss

It’s that time of year when everyone seems to be excited about going on or planning their holidays. Planning a holiday after losing a loved one — a spouse, partner or child — can feel daunting. You probably don’t have the enthusiasm or the desire to do so. It’s hard to even imagine a holiday without them, let alone enjoying yourself. You may already have a holiday booked that you simply can’t face.

It’s important to do what feels right for you – and remember, what seems right this year can always change next year. It is completely normal to feel anxious about your first holiday without them. Talk to family and friend about what’s worrying you. Acknowledging what you can realistically manage emotionally and physically is helpful.

Try not to buy into the often-unrealistic expectations of holidays where everyone is happy, relaxes and enjoys themselves. Give yourself permission to cry. Let the memories of holidays you shared together surface, speak about them and keep them alive. It is one way of keeping your love one with you in your heart and head. Time away in different surroundings can also offer a change of perspective and do your wellbeing good. 

Alternative plan

It’s good to keep an open mind and to talk to friends and family about your worries and concerns. If you decide to cancel an existing holiday, it is a good idea to have an alternative plan so that you have something to look forward to around that time. Perhaps instead of a whole holiday away, you can think about a day trip or an overnight at good friends.

When you feel ready to think about a holiday, there are lots of options that you might consider:

• Going abroad versus staying in your home country
• Shorter versus longer break (to begin with)
• Local activities and organised days out
• Activity holiday versus something less structured
• Alone or with a friend or family member

Giving yourself permission to have moments of joy and fun are an important part of the grieving and healing process. As important as it is to remember and honour the loved ones who have died, it is also important to create new memories with those who love and surround you.

Coping with the loss of a parent or sibling

For families coping with the bereavement of a parent or sibling, the prospect of long weeks of school summer holidays can be very challenging and it’s important to put some structure into place which may or may not include a holiday away.

Winston’s Wish also offers advice including how to manage the transition to the next class for bereaved children and you can access this here.

If you are planning a holiday away, Gingerbread, a UK charity providing support to single parents for over a century, has some practical advice and information here.

Holidays for bereaved people

There are organisations and holiday companies that offer holidays for bereaved people and families ranging from activity-based holidays to retreats as well as ordinary getaways in an understanding environment. 

There are also travel companies that cater to single people including first time travellers and a range of age groups. These can be easily found online. Remember to make sure that whatever company you choose has the appropriate travel protections in case of the need of a last-minute cancellation.

Plan ahead

Finally, it’s important to consider that when you return home from a holiday, you may feel low, and it can help to have something planned that connects you with others who love you to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be big – a day out with a friend, lunch with a family member. Whatever your circumstances, options, resources and support are out there to help make the summer holidays a little less daunting and unimaginable.

Trusted External Links